embracing otherness. when i first heard this theme, i thought, well, embracing otherness is embracing myself. and the journey to that place of understanding and acceptance has been an interesting one for me, and it's given me an insight into the whole notion of self, which i think is worth sharing with you today.

擁抱他類。當我第一次聽說這個主題時,我心想,擁抱他類不就是擁抱自己嗎。我個人懂得理解和接受他類的經歷很有趣,讓我對于“自己”這個詞也有了新的認識,我想今天在這里和你們分享下我的心得體會。

we each have a self, but i don't think that we're born with one. you know how newborn babies believe they're part of everything; they're not separate? well that fundamental sense of oneness is lost on us very quickly. it's like that initial stage is over -- oneness: infancy, unformed, primitive. it's no longer valid or real. what is real is separateness, and at some point in early babyhood, the idea of self starts to form. our little portion of oneness is given a name, is told all kinds of things about itself, and these details, opinions and ideas become facts, which go towards building ourselves, our identity. and that self becomes the vehicle for navigating our social world. but the self is a projection based on other people's projections. is it who we really are? or who we really want to be, or should be?

我們每個人都有個自我,但并不是生來就如此的。你知道新生的寶寶們覺得他們是任何東西的一部分,而不是分裂的個體。這種本源上的“天人合一”感在我們出生后很快就不見了,就好像我們人生的第一個篇章--和諧統一:嬰兒,未成形,原始--結束了。它們似幻似影,而現實的世界是孤獨彼此分離的。而在孩童期的某段時間,我們開始形成自我這個觀點。宇宙中的小小個體有了自己的名字,有了自己的過去等等各種信息。這些關于自己的細節,看法和觀點慢慢變成事實,成為我們身份的一部分。而那個自我,也變成我們人生路上前行的導航儀。然后,這個所謂的自我,是他人自我的映射,還是我們真實的自己呢?我們究竟想成為什么樣,應該成為什么樣的呢?

so this whole interaction with self and identity was a very difficult one for me growing up. the self that i attempted to take out into the world was rejected over and over again. and my panic at not having a self that fit, and the confusion that came from my self being rejected, created anxiety, shame and hopelessness, which kind of defined me for a long time. but in retrospect, the destruction of my self was so repet